"Fasten Your Seat Belts,"

"it's going to be a bumpy night."

Margo Channing.

Counting:

It is one of the very first things we are taught alongside our ABC's.

Counting is important.

How many children did we leave the house with?

We should return with the same.

How many portions of cheesecake did we consume last evening? (two)

How many weeks of pay will it take to buy that delicious handbag?

Counting is important.

But it is bugging the heck out of me lately, so here comes the rant.

Turn away HERE if you are not in the mood, and

please remember I am an advocate for the positives we can achieve.

I have participated in several conversations and read posts recently

concerning topics on perception of value of self and specifically blogs.

That convoluted sentence means:

Why am I not as popular as ____ ?

How do I get more Followers?

I comment on hers why doesn't she comment on mine?

Now I've read the how-to along with everyone else.

I've read how to blissfully blog.

I do not disagree with anything recommended or suggested.

I do believe there are some etiquette rules that

ought to be followed, but some have become a negative nuisance,

which have caused angst and sadness.

The one disclaimer here is this:

Many blogs are a feeder source to an on line business and or

commercial enterprise. Of course these individuals do and should

increase and seduce Followers and self promote to increase sales.

That is NOT what I'm referring to.

Here's where my concern, no, my dismay arises.

Half way through my first year of blogging I too was in the race for

Followers, counted every comment and worried if some posts had

less than prior ones. Admit it, you did/do too.

I felt the pressure, and I mean pressure to answer every comment

with a comment to their blog and follow everyone who followed me.

The equivalent of a thank you note for a thank you note.

Now before you start thinking bad thoughts

about me, let me finish.

I LOVE to GET comments I LOVE to GIVE comments.

I also LOVE to email back to comments.

( did you notice in my 10.10.10 the suggestion to add email to your profiles?)

I detest no reply-blogger..

Let me tell you personally what I liked, why you made me laugh, or weep,

or just thank you for stopping by.

Then into about the 6th month or so I took notice of

what several of you have heard me say are "collectors".

Comment and Follower Collectors.

People who follow, invite you over and are never heard from again.

People who comment but if you don't comment back

tit for tat, "poof" they also vanish.

People who comment generically to everyone or who

obviously didn't really read your post, and make you say "huh?"

I suddenly realized that by no fault of anyone else, I had

reverted back to a Jr High Mentality of "who likes me?"

All over blog-dom I still read of newbies asking how to get

more followers, writers concerned their blogs aren't good enough.

In Junior High In PA some of us wore Villager, Ladybug and John Meyer.

Others wore Bobbie Brooks.

That immediately put you into different camps or cliques.

Over 400 followers? You must wear Villager.

Under 200? Well, you wear Bobbie Brooks.

Pardon the 60's Latrobe, PA reference but

that IS my point of reference.

Now before you think this is sour grapes since

I am not in the over 400 group by far, let me clear it up,

on the record, right here, right now.

I love when people comment on my posts.

I love to discover new blogs and follow them with NO agenda.

I am thrilled when someone finds me on their own

not via a contest and Follows me. I believe it means they

saw or read something they liked.

It makes me feel good.

Sometimes I do a Snoopy happy dance.

It no longer validates me or my blog.

If I follow you it is because you are some one special to me, and it

does not matter if you follow me back.

If I comment to you, it is because I have something I want to say,

and no, you do not have to always comment back. It's OK.

If you are not on my blog roll it does not mean

I don't follow your every post via reader,

and enjoy you very much.

Now I know there are many who still struggle with this,

who get their feelings hurt; we talk amongst ourselves

in whispers about this topic.

But let me address the elephant in the room.

Think of someone really BIG in blogdom. OK got it?

Now, If you left one of 200 comments that day would you expect

to hear back from them especially if they post daily?

Would you expect them to Follow you?

Even if they did, could you imagine them reading

a thousand posts a day of everyone they followed,

and then commenting on everyone?

YET, we do expect it from less popular bloggers as a given.

My question to the Mammoth in the parlor is:

how BIG must you be before you can break the rules

and not lose your status in popularity or hurt someone's feelings ?

We all have close blog friends that we comment to every post.

I have a dozen or so who I email with several times weekly,

sometimes daily if we have a hot topic.

That is the greatest blessing of this adventure.

My philosophy now is this, and yes, I'm nearly done:

I value, no, I treasure, the communication,

idea sharing and friendships offered through blogging.

I do my very best to be kind and follow blog etiquette to

the best of my ability, as long as my blogging remains joyous.

I will hold no one's feet to the fire if their

attitude or approach differs from mine. OK?

Meanwhile, if you have dealt with these issues,

and wish to return to the joy and happiness you had at

the beginning of blogging and which I now enjoy...

Stop counting:

Many of us have removed our Follower #'s

One of the best blogging actions for me.

If you need to know mine, go ahead and count them,

and ah, ask yourself why it matters?

Why have strong, powerful women

allowed themselves to be caught up in

the man based insecurities of whose is bigger?

We have told them for centuries

size doesn't matter. Are we lying?

Who's counting?

Suzan